Oh gosh, i have been away for so long.. Yet it still feels like home here!
I think my last post was at the beginning of 2014, it seems AGES ago.. I was dwelling on the subjects of raising small children and being confused and feeling clueless; of being in love with my husband and struggling with the daily juggle and trying to untangle myself a bit. About coming from a multicultural background and being a girl/woman. There were, and are still, so many things on my mind.
I turned 37 this year. My boys turned 8. They have been in school for the four years i’ve been absent here and yes, there is a correlation and a causality. I started writing this blog in what i know now to be the most challenging time of my life. I had this MASIVE mission of raising two little boys to be amazing men in the future, they were too little to understand anything, yet the programing and the resilience building is most effective when worked upon during those very early years..
I had recently lost my father after a very long dance with the Big C, during which he, and my mum, my sister, and me, were confronted with the biggest human riddle. How do you live a happy life when you know you will die soon, and you now you will suffer before you do. Should you fight or should you go.
My dad chose to fight and to stay for as long as he could and there was no doctor that was not surprised at his astounding will power and strength, and resistance to pain, and willingness to go through anything.. He did not want to die, but in the end, he told us himself, he was ready to go. He was only staying because of us and he need us to let him go. He died that day after we said goodbye. I was pregnant and we had hoped he would meet my baby. He never new it was two boys that were coming to fill the huge gap that he left in my life and in my heart. And fill it they did. Children have an amazing capability to spread joy, and their honest smiles and big enquiring eyes can fill any heart with joy. Then of course they are also very needy and love to complain and wine and argue, they can take down the strongest individual if they set their minds to it.
So time flies and my children were suddenly off to start school and I had time to put my plans in action: become self-sufficient. Create an income for myself, make it flexible as to be able to spend time with the boys after school, make it local to avoid the monstrous commute and beet the rush hour and be able to pick them up at least some days, reduce the need for external help -very expensive indeed-. I had been developing my jewellery making skills and was trying to set up an ethical jewellery brand to sell through independent retailers. My skills as an environmental engineer put on a shelf because i had little trust in fining a job ticking all the boxes.
So i did what most mums do when they can finally get a set of straight hours just to them selves: I reinvented myself and became an entrepreneur. Set up a limited company and together with a friend, opened an independent boutique on my own high street. Hopefully it will become THE place to find ethical and sustainable alternatives of clothing, accessories and gifts, my own jewellery included (it is also online now, so I may share about it with you some time).
And that is what I have been doing. It has been an amasing ride and it’s the reason of my absence all this time. But i’m back now! and hope to be writing more from now on..
Looking forward to go through the reader and see what you have all been up to..
p.s. Thank you Art of Housewifes, for making me come home.. you started following and that prompted me to come after more than 3 years!!
ok, lets put a face to it.. these are the guys that stole my heart, my time, my youth and gave the world in return.. yes they are boys and no, they do not wish to cut their hair